Monday, January 26, 2015

50 Shades of Grey: The Movie

Loved the book? Hated it? Heard about it and wonder what the hype is about?


If you live in Los Angeles, let’s go to the movies!

Sunday - February 15, 2015 @ 7:00pm.

For those that feel like it, we’ll hang out after and discuss the film. Topics can include:

How does the film compare to how S&M is actually practiced?
Were any parts a turn-on for you?
Is the film putting out misinformation that could be dangerous?
How was the acting and production value?

Besides your movie ticket and any snacks you buy, this event is free.

For women and female identified people: Want to learn more about S&M before the movie? I offer a free 3-lesson series: 3 Dangerous Blunders Women Curious About S&M Make (and How to Avoid Them). Just email me at Jean@SexualEsteemWithJean.com and I'll send them right to you.

For everyone: My favorite book on the subject is SM101: A RealisticIntroduction.

Get your ticket ahead of time here.

We'll meet right outside the movie theater at 6:45pm. 


See you at the movies!

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Book Suggestion: Life on the Swingset

I'm excited to tell you about Cooper Beckett's new book, Life on the Swingset. Cooper details what it's like to try swinging for the first time. (Fascinating! Heady!) He then offers a heartfelt and very funny look into the swinging sexual subculture. Cooper Beckett's life was so transformed by swinging that we couldn't keep the joy to himself. He wanted to shout from the proverbial rooftops. That's how the popular Life on the Swingset podcast came about. 

One of my favorite essays is "Charged Batteries - Cooper and Marilyn's Week of Adventure," because Marilyn transforms into a confident, more enthusiastic, happier woman once she experiences more sexual freedom. Yay Marilyn! 

Cooper's writing style is passionate, personal and self deprecating. He's the coolest nerd you'll ever meet on your Kindle. Run, don't walk and grab this fun and interesting read.  

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Cuddle Sanctuary: A World About "Gender Balancing"

There's often concern expressed at cuddle events - what if there's too many guys? Many cuddle facilitators deal with this concern by doing what's called "gender balancing." Gender balance means making sure there's an equal number of female-bodied and male-bodied people. 
What I do instead is create a safe place where all genders can step away from who the culture says you're allowed to or supposed to touch and step back into being like little kids. Kids who have less rules and less baggage. Kids who can follow their curiosity and follow their needs and learn by doing and experiencing rather than applying the rigid rules of the grown ups. Let us be children again.

I encourage you - if this feels uncertain or uncomfortable for you - to take a breath and consider joining me in this bold experiment. I've designed exercises to help us all feel safe and comfortable. Remember that there's no required touch, you can always change your mind and of course leave the event if you want to. And there's even a money back guarantee if you're not happy with your experience! 

Can you tell how passionately I feel about the subject?!
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If you're curious about cuddle events, here's a blog about it. And if you'd like to attend an event in Los Angeles, here's the Cuddle Sanctuary group. Want to bring Cuddle Sanctuary to your city? Contact me at Jean@SexualEsteemWithJean.com.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Holiday Gift Giving Tip

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Experiences Bring More Happiness Than Objects

If you like choosing just the right gift, let science give you a helping hand. According to a recent article by James Hamblin for The Atlantic, "Over the past decade, an abundance of psychology research has shown that experiences bring people more happiness than do possessions." Cornell psychology researcher Thomas Gilovich affirms that anticipation of the experience is an important element.
How can you give an "experiential" gift? You could create a coupon for a loved one redeemable for a foot massage or a home cooked meal. Or maybe you could read a poem or sing a song to a friend. Another idea for you...
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Give the Gift of Cuddle

Cuddle Sanctuary gift certificates are available for the first time ever! For $30, your friend will get a free admission to Cuddle Sanctuary in Los Angeles in 2015. I can send the certificate to you or email an electronic version. Click here to get yours.

Happy holidays to you!

Friday, December 19, 2014

Cuddle Sanctuary: Making the Most of Your Experience

This video is part of a series about an event called Cuddle Sanctuary. Cuddle Sanctuary is a three-hour experience. It begins with a short workshop and finishes with a long stretch of relaxing hang-out time.  The star of the show is safe, consensual touch.



Cuddle Sanctuary is a Rated G event – so it doesn’t include sexual touch. The kinds of touch that are welcome include hugging, holding, spooning, caressing (the face, back or arms), foot rubs, shoulder massages – there’s plenty of options! 

When it’s time for our closing circle and to say goodbye, many attendees don’t want it to end. I’ve had that feeling myself – I want to enjoy the connections and the sweetness forever.

So how can you make the most of every delicious moment?

First, keep checking in with yourself. Ask yourself these questions:

How am I feeling right now?

What do I need right now?

What would feel good right now?

This will help you stay attentive to your own needs. At a social gathering, it can be easy to put all of our attention on the needs of others. Checking in with oneself is a great way to find a healthy balance with that. It’s also a reminder that Cuddle Sanctuary is meant to be a gift for you – like going to a spa. 

A second way to make the most of your Cuddle Sanctuary experience is to release expectations. A wise person once said that expectations are precursors to disappointment. Let go of what you think might happen, shed any worries about what might not happen, just allow it all to fall away so you can pay attention to what actually is happening. That way you won’t miss a fascinating moment!

A third tip is to ask for what you want. If you’ve always wanted to have your shoulders and feet massaged at the same time, this is your chance to ask for that. Or if you’ve never experienced being spooned with someone in front of and behind you, Cuddle Sanctuary is a place where these types of yummy dreams come true. 

Ask!

Monday, December 8, 2014

Cuddle Sanctuary: Etiquette

This video is part of a series about an event called Cuddle Sanctuary. Cuddle Sanctuary is a three-hour experience. It begins with a short workshop and finishes with a long stretch of relaxing hang-out time.  The star of the show is safe, consensual touch.




Cuddle Sanctuary is a Rated G event – so it doesn’t include sexual touch. The kinds of touch that are welcome include hugging, holding, spooning, caressing (the face, back or arms), foot rubs, shoulder massages – there’s plenty of options! Curious about trying Cuddle Sanctuary for the first time and wonder how to go about it? Here’s what you need to know about etiquette!

Come Freshly Showered

This will help you feel confident that you’re in top cuddle form. Go ahead and freshen your breath, too. It’s easier to get close that way.

Don’t Wear Perfumes or Colognes

Some of us have sensitive noses, so skip using any shower spray or spritzing yourself with strong scents. Thank you!

Be On Time

The workshop part of Cuddle Sanctuary is important for everyone to attend. That’s because we go over the guidelines for touch – the success of the rest of the event rests on the fact that everyone knows how it all works.

It’s so important that at a certain point, we must close the door to any latecomers. This is a bummer for everyone – so don’t let that person be you!

Don’t Hug or Touch Without Asking Permission

Out in the regular world, it happens a lot that a person will open their arms to say hello – expecting a hug without actually asking if it’s okay. That person may mean well, but on the receiving end it’s oh-so-uncomfortable to say, “no thanks – I don’t want to be hugged right now!”

At Cuddle Sanctuary, we always ask and wait for a verbal “yes” before touching someone.


Here's where you can find us:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cuddlesanctuary
MeetUp: http://www.meetup.com/Cuddle-Sanctuar...


That's it for now - happy cuddling!

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Cuddle Sanctuary: Rules of the (Cuddle) Road


This video is part of a series about an event called Cuddle Sanctuary. Cuddle Sanctuary is a three-hour event. It begins with a short workshop and finishes with a long stretch of relaxing hang-out time.  The star of the show is safe, consensual touch.



Cuddle Sanctuary is a Rated G event – so it doesn’t include sexual touch. The kinds of touch that are welcome include hugging, holding, spooning, caressing (the face, back or arms), foot rubs, shoulder massages – there’s plenty of options! If you're new to Cuddle Sanctuary - you might wonder, what are the rules of this thing? Here are a few really important ones.

Always ask for permission before touching somebody. If someone makes a touch request of you, here are three potential responses:

Yes

Let’s say somebody asks you for a hug or says “May I spoon with you?” If you feel like saying “yes,” say it! And enjoy the experience.

No

If you don’t feel like having that experience with that person, you can simply say “no” or “no thank you.” You don’t need to analyze yourself deeply or judge yourself for wanting to say “no.” You have every right to feel a “no” and say it. You could always be kind and gentle and thank them for asking.

Maybe

If you’re not sure how you feel, let’s call that a “maybe.” And if you’re a “maybe,” consider that a “no thank you.” 

It can be really difficult for me to be honest if for whatever reason I don’t want to be touched. Since I was a kid I was always told to hug or kiss whatever older relative was visiting. I was never told I had a choice in the matter. (And it was pretty gross.) So I never learned the truth – that I can choose who is allowed to touch me and when. Cuddle Sanctuary is a great place to practice and strengthen these boundaries.

Feel Free to Change Your Mind

You are free to change your mind about any activity with any person at any time. You can simply say, “thanks I'm done now!” Or “thanks, I feel full.” Or just, “I'm going to do something else now – bye!” 

Changing our minds creates a lot of freedom and can generate a lot of fun.